Sometimes in an instant someone can have a profound and lasting effect on your life.  However, a person’s influence can also be subtle and develop over time.  In my situation I did not realize how important my Uncle Chuck was until he was gone.  I was completely naïve to his endless generosity and compassion until he died because of his overwhelming humbleness;  he hated to be the center of attention.  I knew very little about him due to his modest demeanor, all I did know was that he was nice and would be called to answer random Jeopardy questions as he was a bottomless pit of information both informative and trivial.  Although he did not know this, I was positively influenced by all aspects of his personality. 

            I stood there in utter amazement at the massive roller coaster that was staring back at me.  Even though I loved roller coasters, I was scared at first. Yet the fact that my skinny, five foot nine inch, forty eight year old uncle was standing next to me brought me comfort. Although he was small in stature his presence was never undetected because of his huge heart and kindness that knew no bounds. Despite the coaster’s twists, turns, and flips he had a smile on his face stretching from ear to ear.  Not once did he ever complain about having to do this with me, even though afterwards, when I told my parents the story they informed me of his fear and hatred of roller coasters. I thought to myself, “How could he put up with doing something that he really hated, pretending he thoroughly enjoyed it.” His selflessness taught me that sometimes, regardless of how much you don’t want to do something, you should just tough it out and do it anyway for those around you. When I was little I used to complain about even the littlest events that I didn’t want to partake in, like going to temple or out to dinner with my family, and make it a big deal. However he taught me the effect of doing things you don’t want to with a smile on your face, can have on others. The next time I had to go skiing with my younger cousin, who was at a far inferior skiing level than I, I did it with a smile on my face because of what I had learned from my Uncle Chuck

            A few years later, I come home one day and my mom was sitting at the kitchen table with tears rolling down her cheek and a very somber look on her face.

In a quiet voice I asked, “What’s wrong, Mom?” not sure I really wanted to know what it was.

“Uncle Chuck went to the doctor today and they said that he has pancreatic cancer,” she replied quietly, with tears now completely engulfing her eyes.

            This didn’t mean much to me at first, because we had never spent much time together since I only saw him a half a dozen times a year. However after this news was received and he was given only a few more months to live we made a greater effort to see him more often. One night at my Grandma’s house stood out as a vivid memory and left a lasting impression on me.

            It was one of the Jewish holidays, so my entire family gathered at my Grandma’s house for dinner. I remember walking into her house and seeing him there, he was skinnier than normal and had a little scruffy red and grey beard to cover the splotches he got from chemotherapy. I expected him to be depressed or sad because of the extreme hardships he faced every day. Yet I was stunned at his exuberance and positive outlook. Not once did I look at him when he wasn’t wearing a colossal smile on his face, like a kid who had just lost his first tooth. I learned right there the importance of family, and how uplifting and supportive a family can be. Despite all of the negatives that he could have dwelled on, and all of the things that happened to him that gave him the right to be angry, he wasn’t, he was more than content to be spending time with his family. I now enjoy family events that I would normally have gone to under duress from my parents, and appreciate all the time that I spend with my family members, even if it is just sitting on the couch watching tv. Throughout his one year fight with cancer he treasured spending time with those he loved more than anything. He was livelier then ever, skiing with his daughter, or swimming with us in his pool. He appreciated each day he lived because he wasn’t sure if it would be his last.

            Although he may not have known when he was alive, I have been able to learn from every facet of his life, and am a much better person for it. I attempt to emulate his appreciation for each day and now instead of focusing on the negatives I try to look for the best in every situation regardless of how bleak it may look. His complete selflessness taught me the importance that gladly compromising without argument can have on those around you. I learned from him that if you are going to be doing something, you might as well have a smile on your face and try to enjoy it. Despite his best efforts to be completely humble and modest, I was able to find out about the true Chuck, and from that learned a great deal. Since he died, I have learned more about him then I ever knew, and I try each and every day to keep his uplifting spirit and endless generosity alive in this world through my actions. I have partaken in many volunteer trips and activities in an attempt to fill the void that was made by his departure from this earth, activities that I wouldn’t have so readily volunteered for had it not been for his profound impact on me. Most recently I took a community service trip to New Orleans. Also since he left, my attitude toward life has become one of constant joy and optimism. I feel that his life was best summed up in his obituary when someone said, “He was a gentle man, and a gentleman.”

I think that the process of writing this essay went very well. I chose this topic because of the profound impact that my Uncle has had on me, and even if he didn't know it I felt obligated to write out how much he meant to me. I was trying to convey how amazing my Uncle was as a person, and how i try to emulate that in my every day life. 

I thought this essay was very difficult to write because i miss him, and think about him all the time. Partly because I felt that nothing i could write would serve him justice, because words can't explain his greatness. However this made it easy to write also because his impact on me has been elucidated since his passing. If i had more time i think i would be able to make it perfect by simply editing it, and trying to find the best words to describe him.